Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
