You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
