Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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