woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
