Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize