grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize