Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
