So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
