My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
