so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You ruined the universe
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
