Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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