so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
