I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
