Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
