Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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