4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
