NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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