Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
