I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
