There was a lot of him and a little penis
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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