She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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