I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize