ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize