Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
