R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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