man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize