I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
