Where did you get a picture of my penis
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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