Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
