This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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