is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
