Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
