So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
