Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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