I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
