So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
