Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
