i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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