tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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