Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
