i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
