I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
