he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize