He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize