What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
