In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
