I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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