they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
