at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
