normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
