pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i dont even know how to be here
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
