actually, I'm a sock model
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
