Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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