so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He? As in you personified your dick?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
